Care Givers Blog

Familiy Care Givers Now - Caring for Family

Victory in Life and Death

I have to tell everyone who reads this that I know God works in my life and in the lives of those connected to me.  And God was the orchestrator of the way things went with my Mom's passing.  I don't think that we could have had a more loving, peaceful, harmonious atmosphere and experience than the one that we experienced.  And I am content, peaceful and I have a good feeling in my soul that we did everything in the best, loving interest of my Mom.  No regrets!

My family came together like never before and each one of us has a unique set of skills that we brought to the situation.  I did a lot of the communication to allow people who wanted to spend time and say their goodbye's to get there in time.  My brother was a supportive sounding board and has a way of connecting with people on a level that I just don't possess.  And my sister-in-law came in for one very critical day and used all of her nursing powers to make sure that Mommy had the best and most appropriate care and we had the best environment to spend time with Mommy right up until the end.

She was surrounded by friends, family, her Pastors and lots of love as her final journey from this world began at 2pm on Tuesday afternoon.  As midnight fell, the family decided we would go home to rest and come back in the morning.  Just as we were going to leave, my brother said that he wanted to stay.  So, my sister-in-law and I said goodnight to the two of them and we went home.  After 10 years with my Mom, it is only fitting and right to allow my brother to have his time with Mommy too.  Nothing could have been more perfect.  I slept so deeply and comfortably.  No tossing and turning.  No dreams.  No "to-do" lists running through my head.

At 6:02AM on Wednesday, November 1st, I heard my text message alert.  I checked the phone and saw these 6 words "I think she just slipped away".  I was in the hospital room by 6:18AM to say my very last goodbye to the best Mommy I have ever known.

As the day continued, Stevie and I went to have breakfast in one of Mommy's (and Daddy's) favorite restaurants.  We set an appointment with the funeral home.  My best friend joined us to do some of the heavy lifting for the day. We went and made arrangements for cremation.  We purchased thank you cards.  We reflected.  We talked to family members and friends who needed to be notified on Mommy's passing.  At about 4pm, I thought to myself, "I have seen her face for the last time."  It wasn't a sad thought.  It was a surprising thought.  We went to bed at about 9PM on Wednesday night completely exhausted from the day's events but completely content that we did the best that we could do for our Mom.

The thought that I woke up with on Thursday morning was that Mommy got her wings and I did too.  Both of us will have an adjustment time getting used to them.  But we will both learn to use them again and soar to new heights in joy and in victory.  Just like Mommy, I get a renewed freedom.  I can accelerate my dreams.  I can step out into the light and take a look around at what awaits me.  I can help more people and I can do it in person to hold someone's hand and walk them through tough times like some that I have experienced over the years.  I am excited about the future and sharing lessons I have learned with my Mom to others all over.