So, in January, I made a promise to myself to do better and be better when it come to taking care of myself. Well, the Universe is all in favor of this because in no time and without searching, I found a registered dietitian to help me get back on track. I scheduled and kept my last three doctor's appointments and I feel good that I put myself back on my own radar. But I don't want this to be obligatory. I don't want to give up on me because it's too hard to keep up with or I am too tired to do all of the prep work that comes with doing the right things or worse of all, I don't want to stop caring because it seems no one else cares. I am enough. Nobody else needs to put energy or emphasis on me or my well being except me. I am enough of a reason. I have to make me and my well being MY priority. If I can be meticulous about my Mom's schedule, then I can be just as meticulous with my own.
I used to think that I had to keep myself in shape in order to be able to help my Mom with her physical needs. Sure, it is true that I need strength and balance to help her. But I need to be in good shape so that I can live to the ripe old 81 that my Mom has made it to. And be just as inappropriate as she is because at 81, you can say what you mean and not worry how others are going to take it! So, I have to give care to myself as well as to others. It just takes a little planning (which I am good at) and a daily diligence and attention. I am with me everyday. So, I really should make the most of it.
So, I am re-learning how to eat the right foods in the right amounts. BTW, any food can be the right food. Don't get it twisted! This should be a forever change. Not a diet or quick fix. I just got off track by taking my attention away from me and what is important for me. I have spent the last 6 years basically in the same size clothing. So, I didn't get too off track. But those clothes have fit a number of different ways based on how my weight has fluctuated over the years. Now, I want them fit comfortably again.
I am concentrating on one thing at a time and hoping that in 3 months I will have all of the pieces in place and be back on the right road. So, this week, I am just trying to get used to how many servings from each food group I should eat each day. And trying my best to eat them all each day. So far, I have only had one completely successful day. Over the weekend, I overindulged in wine and did not eat enough green veggies. Monday, I ate all of my veggies but I missed a serving of grain. Eventually, before the week is out, I will get it a better grip on it. Who knows, it may take 2 weeks or more before I really feel it is a part of me. Seriously, it is not about being perfect but it is all about doing my best each day, learning more each day and applying it for a better tomorrow. And so, this is my attitude heading into the days to come. I feel that I am being true to myself and not being too critical of myself as I get my footing. I am hoping to find myself and be forgiving of myself as continue on this journey.